Helen's blog: Weird things I have beaten myself up about this week

I am quite self-critical. It’s not a great thing and I don’t even notice that I’m doing it most of the time. This week, I decided to try and bring it into conscious thought a bit more and write down the things that I am beating myself up about. The results are pretty funny!

1. Not filling the car up with fuel

My car is a diesel car. My husband tells me that if I run out of diesel, some kind of terrible mechanical issue will befall my lovely car. I don’t really know what. Maybe it’ll just disappear in a puff of purple smoke or turn into a pumpkin. It’s never actually happened but it nearly happens ALL THE TIME! The simple reason is that I cannot be arsed to do it. It’s cold in the winter, or wet. It adds time to my journey and I’m usually late or in a rush. I have to pay money and talk to a cashier person and holding the pump thing in the hole for ages is just boring. I’d really rather be doing anything else.

I grew up in a very rural part of Cumbria and it was very foolish to run below a quarter of a tank. The petrol stations were few and far between and if one was shut you were probably screwed. Once when I was a teenager and had recently passed my test, I was running extremely low on fuel and I was giving a lift home to my friend. He kindly informed me that 50mph in 5th gear was the most efficient way to drive so I did this all the way home. On the back roads of Cumbria this was kind of thrilling! We made it to the local petrol station in the village where the garage owner, who I knew well (everyone knew everyone in the village and there were three generations of my family living there at that time) would fill up the car for me. I had to get out of the car to pay but the whole thing was pretty luxury. I’m sad that nobody does that around here! Maybe if they did I would be better at filling up the car, but probably not.

As I write this my fuel light is on, I’m beating myself up about it. I’ve asked my husband to fill the tank before the school run tomorrow.

2. Using too many mugs for my tea

I drink quite a lot of tea and normally I use a cup a few times before putting it on the side and beating myself up for not putting it in the dishwasher. Today, I think I used a new cup for every single cup of tea that I drank. Unnecessary frivolity.

3. Throwing away the sweetcorn

The sweetcorn has gone off. This is terrible and could have been avoided by better stock control. Sometimes I’m better at stock control. Sometimes I even write the use by dates of the food in the fridge on the blackboard and that helps me not forget about it and get food throwing away rage. I feel slightly better if I put it in the food bin instead of the general waste. Maybe I feel its life has not been completely in vain if it gets turned into compost or something. Told you I was weird.

4. The dog shitting on the carpet

This was extremely disappointing to be honest. My husband had fed the dog but not let her out. I knew this but it was half term and I was feeling a bit lazy. By the time I got downstairs the old dog had done a neat little shit in the living room. I could cope with cleaning this up. She was a kennel dog before she came to us and her house training is not really on point. What I didn’t realise was that she had left a little bit extra under the nearby draught excluder cushion. I realised after I had stepped in it and tramped it all over the living room. I definitely should have got up sooner but, to make myself feel better I beat up hubby about it as well. Not physically but via the medium of a passive aggressive text which read “There is shit everywhere. Thanks for that”. I also made him clean up my shitty slipper when he got home later. So there.

5. Putting the baby down for a nap…..and not putting her down for a nap

I say putting her down but she is the kind of baby that likes a contact nap. Anyway, I always seem to get the timings wrong she is not shy about showing her displeasure on the school run by screaming loudly in my general direction.

6. The water in the flowers going cloudy

I’ve definitely done something wrong here. I am a bad flower/plant mum. I have a lovely bunch of flowers and the water is really murky. WHY????? Maybe I’ll just change it (I won’t, that’s what I’m beating myself up about)! Husband bought me the flowers…I feel like he’s coming across rather well here.

So, yeah. That’s what I’m beating myself up about this week. Next week I’ll maybe try and write about my accomplishments and successes for the week. Maybe they’ll involve buying a new draught excluder, and a new dog.

Do you want to find out more? At The Vet Project we offer coaching and training around neurodiversity. Book a free call or enquire on our website at www.thevetproject.co.uk or drop us an email info@thevetproject.co.uk