Is ADHD coaching right for me?

My experience of ADHD coaching has, without exaggeration, been completely life changing for me. As a late diagnosed woman, I had been struggling against my executive function issues for my entire life, and felt like I had fallen short so many times, and in so many different ways. So when I got my ADHD diagnosis, and very shortly afterwards got some ADHD coaching, everything just started to fall into place for me. The diagnosis on its own was a massively beneficial thing, but it was the coaching that really made the difference in terms of changing my mindset and improving my mental health.

Getting ADHD coaching had such a positive impact on my life that I trained as a coach myself to help others to have the same transformative experience that I had. And I take huge satisfaction from helping people and bringing those insights and shared moments of clarity to others with ADHD and autism.

I could make a list of the ‘official’ benefits of ADHD coaching but I’d like to share some more personal insights that I’ve gained, and I see my clients gaining too.

Firstly, I love talking to people who ‘get it’. Imagine living your life with undiagnosed ADHD, and always feeling different, and separate and ‘other’. Imagine how isolating that can feel, and imagine how it can feel like there’s something wrong with you. Now think about how it must feel when you step into a conversation where the person you’re talking to can so easily empathise with what you’re talking about, because they’ve lived it themselves, they’ve been there.

Now obviously we all have different experiences and it’s so important to listen deeply to clients and let them express their voice, but speaking to a person with a whole lifetime of lived experience with ADHD means that there is so much shared understanding that the relief and connection can be extraordinary.

So, that’s the first thing. Sharing real life experiences and feeling, not only heard, but accepted, and less like you’re the only person in the world that feels like you do. Talking to another neurodivergent person gives me a feeling of belonging, and I love it.

The next benefit is the chance to speak out loud. I book a coaching session (for myself) when I feel overwhelmed, when I need to untangle what’s in my head. Speaking it aloud to a person who gives me the space to do that, is precious. As a coach, giving someone the time to unravel what’s in their head feels like giving them a real gift. It might sound trivial but it absolutely isn’t. Being listened to, and gently encouraged to speak until you’re done is rare and wonderful. It’s truly amazing how many problems can be solved, and how many solutions can be reached when somebody listens to you with a compassionate ear. If we can untangle what’s in our heads, it can give us the clarity to move forward peacefully and with a clear purpose and direction.

In ADHD coaching we often talk about strategies. There are loads of ADHD strategies out there, and loads of adjustments that we can make in the workplace to help lighten the load when our executive functions need a helping hand. And so many people ask the question “What ADHD strategies should I use?” and my answer is always “I don’t know!”. Because if we’ve not talked before I have literally no idea how your brain works, which areas it excels in, and which it needs support in. But here’s the thing, with coaching we have the time and space to get to know how your brain works. We can co-create bespoke strategies for you. It’s amazing how often my coachees create their own strategies that are completely unique to them. They had the answer the whole time, I just facilitated their thinking and supported them through the process. And obviously there’s things I can suggest, but importantly there’s no ‘one size fits all’ approach here. We’re all so different.

For me, as a coachee, a lot of what I gained from coaching was self-discovery. Once I had my ADHD diagnosis, I needed to figure out what it meant for me. Which traits did I identify with, and which weren’t so relevant? I’d spent so long trying to fit in that I didn’t know much about my authentic self at all. So coaching was all about trying to find who I really was underneath the mask. And then to figure out what I wanted and needed from work, and life more generally, so I could move forward in a positive way knowing that I was less likely to struggle and burn out. And this is a central theme for a lot of my clients who aren’t used to asking for what they need, the first step is to figure out what it is they’re asking for. Coaching can be the key to unlocking all of that information.

I could go on all day about ADHD coaching and how much it helps me to be coached, and how much I can see positive change in my clients, but maybe you haven’t got all day, so I’ll leave you with these themes to summarise. Empathy, connection, empowerment and momentum are the words that I feel embody a strong coaching relationship. If you and your coach can create a relationship like that, I can guarantee that you won’t look back.

If you would like to know more about coaching with The Vet Project, visit our website at www.thevetproject.co.uk/coaching