Something that I’ve been thinking about a lot recently is celebrating. How do we celebrate when we achieve something, or have a bit of good fortune, or if something goes well? It’s so easy to sail past our successes, without stopping to recognise them. Sometimes, without even acknowledging them.
But why do we dismiss our achievements so readily, especially when we have ADHD?
A lot of it comes from the speed that we work, from our drive. Some of this can be anxiety driven. We often use anxiety as a way to get things done. It’s usually something we do unconsciously, and it can be a deeply embedded strategy, but it’s a fairly commonly used one in folks with ADHD. (Top tip: this isn’t a great strategy to use long term (fairly obviously), it can lead to burnout. It’s one of the things we often coach on. Once you’ve started using it, it can be quite difficult to switch off!)
When we work really quickly, and are really driven, we often don’t take the time to stop and think about how far we’ve come, or where we’ve come from. And we’ve often come a very long way! Our ADHD drive can take us to really stunning places, but how often do we look back down the mountain, have a little rest, and give ourselves a little pat on the back? In my experience, not often enough.
I was reading recently about inchstones. They are little fractions of milestones. So we’re not just celebrating the big wins, we are celebrating the little ones too. Imagine that as an act of self care! And the more we pause and celebrate, the less likely we will need to use that anxiety to propel us forwards, because we have lots of proof to show ourselves that we can achieve what we set out to do.
Some of this is about goal setting. So, if we can write down at the start of the day, what success looks like on that particular day, we can allow ourselves a little celebration when we achieve it. And these goals can be tiny, and must be manageable. Recently, mine have included ‘do the online shop’ and ‘make the tea’ as well as bigger things like ‘finish the presentation’. My favourite one recently was ‘make coffee, sit and drink it’. That was my goal for the whole day! Because I’ve also realised that rest is a vitally important thing to schedule in too, otherwise there’s not enough energy for the bigger stuff.
Anyway, once you have your daily goal, and you’ve achieved it, it’s incredibly fulfilling to take 5 minutes at the end of the day to reflect on that, and give yourself a little credit.
And sometimes, you will just have realisations about things you can celebrate. When you are looking for stuff to celebrate, you’ll find it in the most unlikely of places. Mine, this week was….the bins! In the past, after bin day, my freshly empty bins have sat out on the street for a few days, looking untidy and waiting patiently to be brought back into the garden. As I was bringing the bins back this week (mere hours after they had been emptied), I realised that I’m pretty efficient at bin replacement these days! They’ve not sat out the front for weeks! I’m pretty pleased about that!
And I’d be willing to bet that my, probably, 1 whole minute of bin celebration will mean that my bin replacement efficiency is much more likely to be repeated. Even when I’m feeling a bit lower in energy. I’ve shed some of my bin related shame!
So, that’s my tip for you today. Look for your successes, celebrate them by dwelling on them for a few minutes at the end of each day and you might just find that you start seeing them everywhere!
We are running our Anxiety Toolbox Workshop on 21st November 2024. It's full of practical tips to manage anxiety. You can book your place here https://www.thevetproject.co.uk/workshopsandcourses
If you would like more information about anxiety and neurodiversity, we offer coaching, and are specialists in this area. Book a free intro call on our website at www.thevetproject.co.uk/coaching
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